| Self Harm |
What is self-harm?
Self-harm is when someone deliberately hurts or injures him or herself. Self harming can be done in different ways such as:
- cutting
- taking overdoses of tablets or medicines
- punching or pinching yourself
- throwing your body against something or head butting
- pulling out hair or eyelashes
- scratching, picking or tearing at skin causing sores and scarring
- burning self
- inhaling or sniffing harmful substances
Some young people self-harm on a regular basis while others do it just once or a few times. For some people it is part of coping with a specific problem and they stop once the problem has been sorted out. Other people might self-harm for years and will do it when certain kinds of pressures or feelings arise.
A few people who self-harm may go on to commit suicide, however generally this is not why a young person might start self harming. These strategies are a way of coping with life and could be seen as an attempt to hold onto life while being able to manage intense experiences and emotions.
In pamphlets and information on the topic, self-harm is also referred as deliberate self-harm, attempted suicide, para-suicide, self-mutilation and self-injury.
Why do some young people harm themselves?
Young people who self-harm have often had very difficult or painful experiences and been affected by problems with the major relationships in their lives. The reasons will vary such as:-
- Bullying or outing from your social group.
- A death or loss of someone close like a parent, brother, sister or friend.
- The breakdown of your family
- Feeling you are not loved, accepted or cared for by your parents or carers
- Physical or sexual abuse.
- A serious illness that affects the way you feel about your self.
- Problems in your family like drug or alcohol abuse, mental illness or violence.
- History of anxiety and/or depression.
- Having to care for a parent, brother or sister or other family member
Young people might start to self-harm as a way of dealing with the problems and pressures of everyday life. Pressure can come from family, school and peer groups to conform or to perform well (for example in getting good exam results). You can feel angry, frustrated or bad about yourself if you cannot live up to other people's expectations. Having low self-esteem and not feeling good about the way you look, your abilities or feeling like you don’t fit in anywhere, may be other reasons that contribute to feelings of wanting to self harm. Some you people may also be struggling with problems like eating disorders, drugs or issues in their families. You might be in a group of friends where some of them also self-harm and may encourage you to do the same.
People around you may find it difficult to understand that self-harm can make you feel in control and can provide some relief, particularly when events in your life and feelings are overwhelming and swamping you. Inflicting personal injury is something that you can be in control of, whereas life can throw at you lots of different unexpected events and we can’t control or predict how the people around us are going to react, manage their stress and impact emotionally on us.
Asking for help can be difficult? 
For lots of reasons!
- Not knowing who to ask, who to trust and who to talk to.
- Not knowing that confidential help is available.
- Feeling embarrassed and ashamed.
- Scared that who you tell will be shocked or angry
- Being frightened of being labelled mad, suicidal or attention-seeking
- Bad or negative experiences from having tried to talk to people in the past can make it scary and difficult to take the risk and try again to talk to someone.
- If you have had a history of abuse or being left to deal with things on your own, then you may feel that you are better to find a way you can deal with your feelings by yourself. Rather than rely on other.
- Feeling worried you might be forced into treatment.
Some other things to try if you get overwhelming feelings of wanting to hurt yourself
- Finding something safe to hit like some pillows or a punching bag.
- Putting your hands into a bowl of ice cubes for a short time or rubbing ice on the part of your body you feel like injuring.
- Using a red felt tip marker or lipstick to mark your body instead of cutting.
- Putting a rubber band around your wrist and flicking it.
- Putting sticking plasters on the parts of your body you want to injure.
- Eat a chilli or something really hot.
- Have a cold shower.
- Getting your legs waxed or doing it yourself.
- Try putting off harming yourself until you've spoken to someone or waiting for 15 minutes. Once you have got through 15 minutes, try and do something else to distract yourself and see if you can put it off for a further 15 minutes or until the feeling passes.
- Talk to someone – a good friend or call a helpline.
- Do some exercise like go for a run or quick walk – exercise helps to produce happy chemicals in the brain called “endorphins”.
- Distract yourself by playing video games.
- Have a good cry - crying is a great way to relieve lots of built up sadness and frustration.
Get Support - There are lots of different ways to get support
Phone or Email - Talking to someone anonymously over the telephone or sending an email can really help to start getting things out. Useful organisations are: Lifeline (13 11 14) or Kids help line (1800 55 1800). Both are free and anonymous and the call does not show up on your phone bill.
Youth Drug Support – offers confidential and anonymous email based support to young people on a range of areas from drug and alcohol, mental health and general stuff.
http://www.reachout.com.au - Reach Out. The website contains heaps of info and advice on a range of problems experienced by young people, including self-harm problems at school, relationships, bullying, and eating problems. They also have Scream it Dream it which is a great interactive program on the Reach Out site where you can get stuff out by writing things down and shooting them off in a rocket. They also have an online journal which is password protected.
Counselling - You might prefer one-to-one counselling so you can build up a relationship and trust with them over time. You can get contact details of counsellors and therapists in your area from your GP or local youth heath service or community health centre
Websites - http://www.orygen.org.au/ - information for young people on a range of mental health issues. They also have support services in Melbourne, Victoria.
http://www.beyondblue.org.au/ybblue/ - information and personal stories by young people on managing depression and other mental health issues. The site also has a section with info on doctors who are trained in mental health issues and good with things like depression and anxiety as well as info about a psychology referral scheme which is another way of accessing a counsellor.
http://www.youngcarersnsw.asn.au/ - a great site with info, personal stories etc. for young carers.
If you don't feel ready to stop self-harming.
It takes time to change and develop new ways of coping especially if this has been your way of dealing with difficult feelings and stress. It may be hard to imagine coping without it and you may not feel ready to stop right now. Until you feel ready to stop, take care of yourself and your injuries:
- If you are cutting yourself use something clean and preferably sterile.
- Never share needles or cutting tools with anyone else.
- Clean any wounds, no matter how small to stop them becoming infected - just ordinary tap water will do
- If you think a wound might be infected or it becomes painful, red or swollen or won’t heal, see a doctor or nurse as soon as possible.
- Even if you don't want to stop yet, it's important to try to talk to someone you can trust - friend, brother, sister, grandparent, parent, teacher, school nurse, social worker, GP etc. Any of these people might be able to help by listening to your problems and support you to eventually find other ways to cope with your feelings.
- Once you feel you can trust someone it can be a great relief to be able to talk about stuff and let it out rather than carrying around lots of dark heavy feelings by yourself.